Write On.life: Thoughts. Written. Shared.

By a guest author

There’s a lot to do nowadays. Many people to be with, many opportunities to socialize in our circle. It doesn’t matter where you live or how small your community may be. There’s weddings to attend, youth rallies happening everywhere, and endless options to go somewhere for a summer or a few months and work and get to know new people. Some places you can go to a ballgame 3 times a week if you’d like. Is there ever a time where it gets to be too much? Not that it’s out of line to do any of that, but is there a point where you feel like you have to be doing something? You have to go here. You can’t sit at home and do nothing. You can’t not have plans for the summer after you quit teaching. You can’t seem to be still, even for a little bit. What about the 45 year old man who owns a successful business with 30 or more employees? Every day it’s the same race over and over again. Maybe they’re getting somewhere, in their mind. Working hard and being busy is great, but finally do you ever have time to unwind?

I hate to use this example because after the Sailor and Taffy era, the amount of people I can actually be friends with has gone from 10 to 1. But I want to talk about young people. How is it that you feel like you have to plan a year or so into the future about what you’re going to do? It’s like, “I’ll teach here for a year, then after school I’ll go teach Bible School, then I’ll go work at that restaurant for two months then somehow be back in time to teach the second year. Then after that I’ll move here for two months to work at this coffee shop then I’ll leave for the unit. But oh no. Tragedy strikes. What am I gonna do after the unit. Oh no. Oh my, this is terrible. My life is over. Really, is it? Okay. I can’t relate to those feelings, I’ve only heard about them. My sister was a bit like that. She’s happily married now but I remember very well not seeing her much in between school terms because she was here and there and everywhere. I hope she’s not mad. I love her dearly.

Okay, a lot smaller scale. Like I said, I can’t really relate, so I have to draw from some of my own experiences. In my case I didn’t realize it on my own. It hit me and I hope I learned my lesson. Taking a break from the busyness of life and realizing what’s around you and how good your life can be without so much going on constantly. 3 years ago or so I was headed west out of Salt Lake City with a load destined for Eureka CA. Far in the northwest corner of California, right on the coast. I was in a hurry, although I wouldn’t have had to be. I loaded early in the morning and I had arranged on my own to deliver late that same night, even though it wasn’t scheduled until the next day. The main stretch was CA-299, a mountainous two lane road, so it should’ve been slow going but I wasn’t letting any grass grow underneath me. Passing cars whenever I could, running at least 10 over most of the time, while fully loaded, I was determined to make it. Well, I came down into this little village called Trinity River. There I, along with all the other traffic, was stopped dead in our tracks. It was wildfire season in California and due to complications with that, emergency services, blocked roadways, etc, we weren’t to go any further.

I was fuming. I didn’t handle the situation well either. There was no cell service back there in the mountains so I couldn’t even call to let anyone know that I would be late. After jumping out of the truck and telling the traffic director what I thought of the him, the situation, and his little beard that wasn’t cool looking, I realized there wasn’t a thing I could do to change the situation. To my left, down the hill towards the river, there sat a little general store. I thought maybe they’d have a phone. I could at least call back to my brother in Pennsylvania and he could let the receiver know what was going on. But no. Apparently they lived in the pioneer era. No phone at all. Only WiFi. Which was weird. The owner wasn’t even there, he was down doing something by the river or something, I can’t remember. He finally came back up and I was able to connect to his WiFi, and within a matter of minutes the whole matter was resolved. I was rescheduled for the next morning with no feathers ruffled. Only mine.

Then I began to realize where I was. Towering mountains on either side, with only enough space for the river and the road in between them. The sun was setting, sending a glow over the tops of the mountains, which when I looked closer, I realized they were on fire. They were so high that the smoke didn’t drift down into where we were but it was quite a sight to see. The river was one of those rushing kind of rivers that people go white water rafting on. Other than that, it was perfectly still. I sat outside the general store on a lawn chair they had there and tried to relax. It wasn’t easy. My nerves were still taut, and my body was trembling. Going fast was the name of the game and I wasn’t used to sitting still. A couple hours passed and finally they let us go. I continued on my way, a lot slower this time. A little bit later I topped the mountain and met what was left of the sunset. I’m not much for that kind of stuff but it was so breathtaking I had to stop and get out. There wasn’t a single noise or disturbance anywhere as I just stood and gazed out over the valley. I eventually made it to my destination well after dark and with the sound of the ocean nearby, I slept peacefully for a few hours until morning. The next morning I had to wait a few hours for my next load, so I found a place on the beach where I could park the truck and went out and sat in the sand for awhile.

I’d say I’ve been quite the introvert ever since. I don’t mind being with people now and then. In fact I think it’s essential. You need your friends as much as they need you. But at the end of the day, whatever is meant to happen is probably gonna find a way to happen. You can try to fill your life with commotion and always be going and doing this, that, and the next thing. You might have a list of things that you feel like you have to do. You’ll think that if I can just do all this and go here and there but be back in time for this then I’ll finally be happy. But will you? If you can’t learn to enjoy your life where you are right now then how will you deal with the days ahead? If you’re currently living in the future, propelled by the high of something to come, then you’re not really living at all. Because if you’re a young person, for sure a single person, there’ll eventually be a time where you’ll be forced to live in the present. If you don’t, the people around you will suffer.

Solitude isn’t just a place. It’s not a cabin in the mountains where you sit on the porch and watch the sunrise. I’d sooner say solitude is more similar to peace. And you can live in peace anywhere. It baffles me how many people don’t even know what it is to live in peace, or be a free spirit. You are not in control of your life. If you get to the point where you’re planning your next two years down to the month or week, then maybe take a step back. You’re just setting yourself up for more chaos. A lot of people think that they’ll have a bad life if they don’t do literally everything they dreamed of. They’ll say something like “well eventually I won’t be able to do all this so I have to do it now.” Think about when that time comes though. After you’ve done all these things you wanted to, after it all settles down, will you be happy? If you didn’t learn to be happy where you’re at while you were young, then I’m sorry, but you’ll have some struggles later on. Also, not everything is meant for you. Just because there’s opportunities somewhere doesn’t mean it’s the thing for you to do. I hate even writing this because I’m talking to myself, probably more than anyone.

My assignment was to write on the value of solitude. I’m not sure if this even sums anything up. But I do think it would benefit if a lot of people just paused and took note of where they are. When you’re old and looking back at your life, you’ll have very few memories of the years that you spent in high gear. Believe me, they won’t stand out. What you’ll remember is the times you were still, and let life come at you. But I don’t think I can even get my point across through writing either. You have to live it, experience it for yourself. And if you haven’t, you definitely will. Life has a way of putting you back in your place.

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